Your First Meeting With a Divorce Solicitor: What Really Happens
Walking into a solicitor's office for the first time during a separation or divorce can feel overwhelming. You are about to share deeply personal details with someone you have never met, at a time when emotions are already running high.
The good news? Feeling nervous is completely normal, and most people find that the anxiety fades within the first few minutes. Our job is to listen, help you understand your options, and work out the best path forward for your situation.
Here is exactly what happens in your first meeting with a divorce solicitor, so you know what to expect and can feel more prepared.
Before You Arrive: What You Should Bring
You do not need to bring mountains of paperwork to your first meeting. In fact, many people come with nothing at all, and that is absolutely fine. The first meeting is about understanding your situation and exploring your options.
That said, if you do have any of the following to hand, they can be helpful:
- Key dates written down (when you married, when you separated, children's ages)
- Rough idea of your income and monthly expenses
- Property details if you own your home together ie approximate value and amount outstanding on any mortgage
- Any court documents if proceedings have already started
- A list of questions you would like answered
Don’t worry If you don’t t have this information yet – we’ll work through everything together.
What We Will Talk About in Your First Meeting
1. Understanding Your Situation
We will start by getting a picture of where you are right now including your relationship timeline, living arrangements and whether you have children.
Typical Questions Include:
• When did you get married or move in together?
• When did you separate (if you have)?
• Do you have children, and how old are they?
• Are you still living together, or has one of you moved out?
These questions help us understand the legal framework around your case and what processes will apply to your situation.
2. Your Financial Picture
Money is a big part of divorce, so we need to understand your financial situation. We’ll discuss your income, property, savings, pensions, business assets and debts.
If you don’t know exact figures, that is okay. We will explain how to gather this information later. We will start to explore whether there are any particular features that may be important such as inheritances, family money, and preowned assets.
3. Your priorities
This is your opportunity to tell us what matters most to you. Keeping the family home? Arrangements for the children? Financial security?
There are no wrong answers here. Some people know exactly what they want. Others are not sure yet, and that is completely normal. We can talk through the realistic options based on your circumstances as the information becomes available.
Example: If you want to stay in the family home but it is jointly owned, we can discuss whether buying out your spouse is realistic, or whether selling might be necessary. We will look at affordability, mortgage options, and what a fair settlement might look like.
4. Your Concerns
If there is anything that is worrying you, this is an opportunity to raise them. This might include concerns about your spouse hiding money, worries about your children's wellbeing, or fears about your own safety.
Everything you tell us is confidential. We are here to help you feel safe and supported.
5. Your Options
Once we understand your situation, we’ll explain the different ways forward. Each case is different, and the right approach depends on your circumstances, your goals, and your relationship with your spouse.
- Mediation: A neutral mediator helps you both negotiate an agreement on finances, property, and children. It is usually quicker and cheaper than going to court.
- Solicitor Negotiation: We negotiate directly with your spouse's solicitor on your behalf. This works well when both sides want to avoid court but need professional support to work through the details.
- Court Proceedings: A formal process if agreement isn’t possible. We will explain which approach makes sense for your situation, the likely timescales, and what each option involves.
6. Costs and timescales
We will be upfront about costs from the start so there are no surprises. Costs vary depending on how complex your case is and which approach you take. Contested court proceedings are usually the more expensive option. If you have a preliminary advice meeting this typically lasts about an hour. This gives us enough time to understand your situation, answer your questions, and explain your options without feeling rushed. Some people find they need longer, especially if their situation is complex or they have lots of questions. That is fine. We will take the time you need. Typically, this meeting is followed by a letter of advice. If however, you initially wish to have a free half hour we can arrange this.
What Happens After the First Meeting?
You will have a much clearer picture of where you stand and what needs to happen next. Many people feel relieved just from having talked things through with someone who understands family law.
You do not have to make any decisions on the spot. Take time to think about what we have discussed, talk to family or friends if you want to, and get back to us when you are ready.
If you decide to move forward, the next steps might include:
• Gathering financial information and documents
• Starting mediation or negotiations
• Filing court documents if needed
• Arranging temporary arrangements for children or finances
We will guide you through each stage and keep you informed about what is happening and why.
Can I Bring Someone With Me?
Absolutely. Many people bring a trusted friend or family member for moral support. Having someone with you can help you feel more comfortable and can be useful if you want another person to hear the advice we give you.
Just let us know when you book the appointment if you plan to bring someone along.
What If I Get Emotional?
Divorce and separation are emotional. It is completely normal to feel upset, angry, or overwhelmed during the meeting. We have tissues, we are patient, and we understand that this is difficult.
Take your time. We would rather you feel heard and supported than rush through the meeting. This is about you and your future, so there is no pressure to hold it together or hide how you are feeling.
Preparing Your Questions
It can be helpful to write down questions before your meeting. When you are nervous or emotional, it is easy to forget what you wanted to ask.
Common questions people ask in first meetings:
• How long will this take?
• Will I have to go to court?
• Can I afford to keep the house?
• What happens to my pension?
• How do we decide on arrangements for the children?
• What if my spouse does not cooperate?
• How much will this cost?
Bring your list with you. There are no silly questions.
The Most Important Thing to Remember
Your first meeting with a solicitor is just a conversation. It is not a commitment, it is not confrontational, and you are not signing your life away. It is simply a chance to get professional advice about your situation and understand what options are available to you.
Most people leave the first meeting feeling more confident and less anxious than when they arrived. Having a clear plan and knowing someone is on your side makes a huge difference during what can feel like a very uncertain time.
If you are going through separation or divorce and need advice, we are here to help. Our family law team at Sills & Betteridge incorporating Acclaimed Family Law in Sheffield understand how stressful this time can be, and we will work with you to find the best way forward for your situation.
Call us on 0114 551 7555 or book a consultation online. We are here when you need us.
Quick Answers: First Meeting FAQs
Do I need to bring documents to my first meeting?
Not necessarily. Many people come without any paperwork at all. If you have key dates written down or rough financial information, that is helpful, but we can work through everything together if you do not have it yet.
How much does the first meeting cost?
We will discuss fees during the initial consultation. Many solicitors offer fixed-fee first meetings, and we will be transparent about costs from the start.
Will I have to go to court?
Not necessarily. Most divorce and separation cases settle without going to court through mediation or negotiation. We will explain what approach makes sense for your situation.
What if I do not know much about our finances?
That is very common, especially if your spouse handled the finances. We can explain how to get this information through the legal process and what financial disclosure involves.
Can my spouse find out I met with a solicitor?
Not from us. Everything you discuss is confidential. However, if you later instruct us and we begin proceedings, your spouse will become aware at that point.
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